Teaching children to practice and understand the concept of sharing is really challenging because it takes a long time to develop. We have all felt like this and even ask ourselves questions like…

Is it easier to buy 2 of everything at home? 

Can we just set a timer and have them take turns?

Should I just put it away so there is no more fighting?

But don’t I want my child to be kind and generous by sharing?

Reflecting on our why…

If we solve problems for children, it doesn’t provide them with opportunities to understand and learn real world concepts. It’s good for children to learn that sometimes with sharing comes patience.

In a world of instant gratification, it is important for children to learn that just because you want something doesn’t mean you will get it instantly. As a parent or educator, we can recognize and name their feelings (e.g., “it looks like you feel angry that you cannot have a turn right now”). We can also support them in understanding what patience actually means by talking about what we can do while we are waiting (redirection), by ensuring that we follow through, and continuing to model what it looks like for us.

What about timers?

Using a timer can be a challenge for many reasons. It can be difficult to manage or track a timer. Often, children become way too fixated on the timer as well and begin to want to use a timer for everything. And the reality is, if you are out at the park or the store you won’t have access to things like a timer. We want children to develop skills that don’t rely on tools to be managed. We want them to learn real world skills”

So…If we don’t make children share, what do we do?

There are times when we support the sharing process in the classroom and the student doesn’t get a turn for the entire Learning Centre block. We don’t force it, or ask them to finish their turn.  So, what do we do?

Reading their Body Cues: if your child or student is experiencing big emotions or having a tantrum, we can support them by giving them some time and space as they process their emotions. We suggest staying close by and sharing that it is hard to wait and it is ok to feel upset. 

Redirect: to support children in waiting for their turn, we can invite them or redirect them to something else that is of interest while waiting. This will support them in being patient while waiting their turn. This will support them in being patient while waiting their turn and recognizing that there are other things that we can enjoy or do. 

Importance of Following Through: the key is always to support children in following through. We want to ensure that when the sibling or peer is done, we have them follow through in sharing. Following through doesn’t just mean giving them the words or waiting for the other person to simply finish, we have to stay with them and model what that looks like as we wait for our turn. 

Model: Our actions will always speak the loudest to the children that we care for. If we are wanting to support children in understanding kindness, generosity, and patience they will always be watching and listening to what we are doing. Genuinely modelling patience in our everyday interactions and explaining it to children can also be helpful in providing them with context. For example, “I wanted to brush my teeth this morning, but your brother was in the bathroom so I decided to get dressed instead while I waited”. 

Some Language and Prompts that May Help: 

Through our experiences, we have found that supporting young children in learning how to share is really connected to learning how to wait,  respecting others, and honouring their time. Teaching and supporting children to learn how to share isn’t something that will happen quickly or easily for parents or educators either. 

For adults, the concept of sharing seems so simple to use because we understand it. We are often looking for that same instant gratification that our children are. We are often seeking out a quick fix by giving them language and expecting it to be heard and understood right away. 

We know that we are not always going to perfect in our approach. There will be days where we can’t or don’t follow through the way that we wish we did. Be kind to yourself because it is a learning process for everyone and anytime children learn new skills it takes time.

Looking to connect and learn even more about sharing or supporting children at home?
Check out our Learning at Home Course